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USER ERROR: Noel’s enjoying the stability the S80’s all-wheel drive system and the power from the V8, however the electronics are foxing him. Time for a spot of bed time reading?

Our award-winning fleet of cars have been proving their worth on the streets of Dubai yet again this month.

Noel Ebdon's Volvo S80 V8

With the grey, wet weather continuing past the end of January and into February I have been exploring the Volvo's amazing grip and balance. It just seems to stick to the road regardless of how silly I try to be. Audis have a reputation for great four-wheel drive systems, but this is up there with the best.

Another thing I have been enjoying is the startled faces of my passengers when I start the big Volvo up from cold.

It sounds like a Mustang or sporty V8 on tickover - seriously! One friend actually accused me of adding a sports exhaust to the car, until I pointed out that as far as I know no-one makes sports exhausts for Volvos.

I also recently took the car to Ikea, insisting that a sofa bed would fit into the carnivorous boot. However that turned out to be the least of my problems, as I couldn't figure out how to fold the rear seats down.

After ten minutes of digging under the seats and pushing all sorts of levers and buttons, the IKEA trolley boy, who hasn't ever owned a car, pointed out the huge buttons in the boot that release the seats. A great example of over-thinking something. Anyway, the damn thing didn't fit and I had to go back the next day with the old Range Rover. You live and learn.

Volvo got back to me about my battle to get the hands free kit to work and the disc for the navigation system. They are checking my phone is compatible, but seeing that it's a Nokia and therefore made in Scandinavia, as is the S80, I would certainly hope so.

For the sat-nav apparently there is no disc and all the info is stored on a hard drive. The local dealer is going to check it out next time I am passing, so hopefully I'll be being told which traffic jam I am currently sitting in very soon.

In total I've added another 2500kms to the clock and gone through plenty of fuel with my lead foot. Next month's aim is to get the Bluetooth working and learn to drive a bit more frugally. It's not out of environmental awareness, but more a case of protecting my battered wallet.

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