Nuclear Fission

Sea Ray's 230 Select Fission is an excellent bow-rider equipped with a seriously good engine and some very trendy wakeboard accessories.

Nothing says "I'm young, I'm groovy, I'm rich, and I'm one of the beautiful people" quite like a gorgeous 22 year-old girlfriend. Sadly, my wife won't let me have a 22 year-old girlfriend, gorgeous or otherwise, so the next best thing is a boat with a wakeboard tower.

Because a boat with a wakeboard tower is a statement: I wakeboard, therefore I'm very cool.

You see a similar situation at Ski Dubai all the time: there are genuinely cool dudes with funny trousers, techno-rucksacks and snowboards - and then there are the expat Dads, trying oh-so-hard to be younger and trendier than they really are.

Similarly clad and equipped, yet failing somehow to carry off the "cool young thing" look (primarily due to a middle-aged spread and a receding hair-line), they still whoop and strut about high-fiving other hedge fund managers, to the eternal embarrassment of their offspring.

Instead, they should have bought a Sea Ray 230 Select Fission. This would imbue them with bucketloads of "cool" without them having to behave like ‘gangstas' or get in my way when I'm trying to get down a slope without breaking my neck.

On the other hand, maybe we don't want dayglo clad ‘suits' parading around the local slipway dressed from head to foot in Quicksilver and Mambo - or trying to squeeze into a Gul summer shortie that's a bit on the small side, leaving nothing to he imagination and scaring the kids.

It seems like every man and his dog are now producing wakeboard boats. Actually, that's not strictly true - every man and his dog are producing bow-riders with a wakeboard tower and a ten zillion giga-watt sound-system.

There is a difference, as any serious wakeboarder will tell you, but this latest trend isn't really about the boarding experience, it's about image. A wakeboard tower (and attendant accessories) is as much about the image that you want to convey as it is about actual wakeboarding.

Sure, a wakeboard tower is very handy for towing stuff, but you can do that from the normal tow-ring fitted to most sportsboats. If you're a serious boarder a tower is a must, but then so is a boat that puts up a specifically-shaped wake for boarding.

So, to clarify...if you're a serious wakeboarder you buy a serious wakeboard boat (Mastercraft X-star, etc), but if you like a bit of board action, and want a boat that looks the part, then you buy something like the Sea Ray 230 Select Fission we have here.

From the outset, you have to admit that the 230 looks the part. The Fission graphics package and tow-tower really add to the trendy persona this boat exudes.

As I stepped on board I could practically see myself ripping a stalefish nose-grind to fakie madonna to the accompaniment of Nu-punk gangsta thrash, and props and big-ups from my homies. Ahem...sorry. But it's a good-looking boat, and it's hard not to get sucked in to the whole boarding thing.

The layout of the 230 is pretty much standard issue for this type of craft. You get a moderately-sized cockpit with two bucket seats forward and a bench seat aft giving comfortable seating for five or six (depending on how narrow-hipped your 22 year-old girlfriends are).

Aft of the cockpit is a sunpad and a decent sized swim-platform with a fold-down boarding ladder and grab-handle on the port side.

At the bow, the 230 has a standard bow-rider arrangement; seating for three and access through the walk-through windshield. There is a foldable door here to block out the draughts if you're boating in the cold - thankfully not something we do much of in the Gulf.

It's been a while since I last tested a Sea Ray, but I'm glad to say the quality of fit and finish is as good as ever. Sea Ray's designers have ensured that the cockpit is neat and uncluttered and that the helm is fitted out to a very high level.

The bucket seats are reassuringly solid, but with enough give in them to prevent compression-fractures to the spine, and when you start to rummage around inside the lockers and engine bay you are greeted by an equally high standard of finish.

In terms of practicality, the 230 is well thought-out. There are plenty of lockers for fenders, ropes and essential boaty kit, there are enough drinks holders in the right places, and good grab-handles scattered around the boat.

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