Rubbin' is racing

zoom

Damian Reilly joins the boy racers at Dubai's Autodrome karting track.

It's not complicated, driving a go kart. This pedal propels you, this pedal stops you, and the round thing in your hands, well that decides where you go. That is it.

That and the twenty or so other maniacs living their hotrod dreams simultaneously as you do, for whom you must keep a watchful eye while trying to navigate the surprisingly treacherous track.

I have a friend, a mellow soul, who in a go kart becomes a wild eyed lunatic, deriving fun from sending buddies hurtling into barriers and gravel traps. I have seen him chased at the end of a race by irate men in crash helmets, keen to exact upon him fitting retribution for the unpleasant shocks he moments earlier visited upon them.

This karting wrecking ball - let us call him Bahr, for that is his name - listens to songs like Black Betty on his ipod as he sends all cascading before him.

This always makes me think of the famous scene in Apocalypse Now when the napalm bombing helicopters ride over the Vietnamese jungles blaring the rousing Ride of the Valkyries from speakers mounted on their sides.

Those helicopters were peopled by madmen. Bahr, meek in every other respect, would be comfortable among them, I suspect. It is funny, the ways in which a man reveals himself.

When I went karting last, it was sluicing down. This pleased me, for I believe myself to be something of a Schumacher - Michael not Ralf - and I am keen to learn the extent of my skills in ‘the wet.' Great drivers excel in the wet. Rain separates the men from the playboys.

Sadly, I am still to discover my level of greatness in inclement conditions (I suspect it will be considerable), as we arrived at the karting track at Dubai's splendidly named Autodrome at four o'clock on a Friday afternoon.

It does not open to paying customers until seven o'clock. Chiz. But not to worry, because, as of last year, there is now an indoor track nearby.

The first thing you need to know about the indoor track is that is improbably well hidden. Why any commercial enterprise should want to be so, is beyond me. It is hardly a bunker for storage of WMD's.

It is a place where people go to have fun. Actually, karting is not all that is on offer - there is a facility for running around and shooting other people with harmless lasers, but I did not venture into it.

For me and karting, preparation is all, and that begins with the mental conditioning in a quiet corner of the changing room.

It is hard to condition yourself mentally when the armpits of the overall you are wearing are wet with the copious sweat of another man. But I try.

I am writing this article with an incredibly sore back. It is as if I have been thumped very hard low down on my spine. This is result of being flung around in my seat, negotiating corners, at the time oblivious to any discomfort due to absurdly high releases of adrenalin.

The thing is with karting, even though it all looks very pedestrian to the spectators in the gallery area, it feels, when you're doing it, as if you are travelling at incredible velocity, on account of the close proximity of your bum and the tarmac.

With only the slightest leap of imagination, you could very well be in a Formula One car, not a souped up lawn mower.

The indoor track is very narrow. There is little in the way of places to pass. Rather, the only tactic that pays any sort of dividend at all is the one of which Bahr is the prime exemplar. ‘Get out of my way, slowpoke,' you chuckle to yourself as another poor punter swears lividly, and inaudibly, at you, face full of crash barrier.

I raise a hand apologetically, gentlemanly, at them as I speed off. This is really only because I do not wish to be chased at the finishing line.

In fact, now I think about it, there is a marvellous line in the work of unalloyed genius that is the film Days of Thunder, in which Rowdy Burns tells Tom Cruise's character: "Rubbin' is racing." It certainly is. Perhaps I might have this maxim tattooed somewhere suitably macho upon my person.

After the race, drivers hustle around the reception area, clamouring for the printout of track times. Hilariously, given the crash, bang, wallop nature of the event, timings are available down to the nearest thousandth of a second.

Some people take this sort of thing terrifically seriously, they have their own kit (no other man's armpit sweat for them, nor helmets which smell of swear words. Always it these people who go quickest.

For hundred dirhams you get about 15 minutes of this fantastic mayhem. It doesn't sound like a lot, but at the time, it is. It is a surprisingly knackering thing to do, too.

I always find my muscles are stiff for days afterwards. The outdoor track is better, in this Schumacher's opinion, but the indoor one is worth a look too. See for yourself.

Print | Email | Discuss this article

| Share |

READERS' COMMENTS

Karting
Posted by Ali, Dubai on Thursday 19 February 2009 at 12:53 UAE time


Karting is probably the simplest, and the cheapest, path to motorsports and it has proven addictive to many wannabe racers. All you need to do is head to the track, pay the fee and start lapping around as fast as possible.

There are those who fail to beat the top lap times and when feeling like “sore losers”, they start smashing other karts to attract attention and probably feel good about themselves. In three year karting experience, these people remain the slowest and miss on improving the driving skills.

The kartdrome is usually open to customers 6 days a week from ten to ten, unless there is an event. The place is undergoing heavy construction, so signs are not so obvious, but I am sure things will be organized as the development nears completion.

The more “Serious” drivers have their own suit, not because they refuse to share other suits with sweat, but rather because they are most probably professional kart racers racing in professional national championships. To be able to compete in the national or international championships, one should get a kart license, a CIK certified suit/gear and you will have own a kart, obviously.

A tip to those who want to make it to the professional racing series, Go have fun at the track. Focus on driving smoothly and keep practicing. If you need any help, ask the faster drivers. You will keep hearing this smooth driving and consistency a lot and it is true. In a short time you will notice that you are able to overtake other drivers easily and rage/insane drivers will not bother you because they will not be able to catch you.

Have fun karting!

Click here to post a comment

Add your Comment All posts are sent to the administrator for review and are published only after approval. ArabianBusiness.com reserves the right to remove any comment at any time for any reason. Please keep your responses appropriate and on topic. Arabian Business would like to point out that only comments relevant to the story will be published. Any containing personal insults or inappropriate language will not be approved.
Name *
Remember me on this computer
Email *	(Your email address will not be published)
City
Country
Subject *
Comment *
Notify me of further comments
Enter the words above *
Please click post only once - your comment will not be published immediately.

MORE FROM ARABIANBUSINESS.COM