Five stages of real estate grief

Psychologists talk about there being five stages of grief, usually applied to those who have recently lost someone close to them.

However, bereavement takes many different forms, and the term is applicable in many different circumstances – a relative or friend need not have kicked the bucket in order for the heartache to be insufferable.

Take those who have watched the property market collapse and die in front of them, along with half the value of their beachside villa or marina apartment. Here’s the process, with examples:

1. Denial (circa September 2008):
Example – “Everything’s fine. This time next year, we’ll be millionaires”; “This can’t be happening, not to us - we’re decoupled!”

2. Anger (November 2008):
Example – “Why us? It's not fair!”; “How can this happen! We want our money back!”

3. Bargaining (January 2009):
Example – “I’ll sell at what I paid for it, but not a dirham less.”; “You’ve stopped building, so I’ll stop paying. Let’s call the whole thing off”; “How’s about I just take my deposit back, and we forget about the whole thing?”

4. Depression (April 2009):
Example – “I’m screwed, absolutely screwed.”; “What did I think was going to happen? That the good times would go on forever?”; “I’m off home, leaving my life savings behind me.”

5. Acceptance (May 09):
Example – “It’s going to be OK. Maybe not this year, maybe not next, but it’s going to be OK”; “I can't fight it, so I may as well prepare for it. Things will recover, and I’ll be ready for when they do.”

Stages One and Two took the longest to work through. Stage Three was a little unedifying (and ultimately futile). Stage Four was pretty miserable; there didn’t seem much point in getting out of bed.

Personally, I think we’re at Stage Five just now; the final stage. It has been a painful process, and no-one would wish to go through it again.

However, we might just look back and realise that while we will always miss the good times, life does go on. I’m sorry for your loss, but let’s move on.

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READERS' COMMENTS

WHERE IS THIS DISCUSSION GOING?
Posted by Khizer Ansari, Dubai, UAE on Sunday 31 May 2009 at 10:16 UAE time


What I dont understand is how the people putting up comments here can even vision what is going to happen when they dont even know a single thing about real estate. Do any of you know what made investments in Dubai real estate so popular and does any of you why the properties market fell?

Well the answer to the first question is the fact that civil projects worth 1 trillion dollars which include the airports, subway, road networks, bridges, new freezones for business opportunities and many many government related investments to boost the economy. secondly the policies like free trade, tax free haven and home of world class ameneties and fascilities was and is another reason why people have and will continue to come to Dubai.

Why did property prices fall? Well the basic answer is look around you. World wide stock markets were falling, banks going bankrupt, commodity prices like oil, sugar,wheat, scrap and others halving in value. What does it imply? well the real estate investors who were investing money in dubai and were getting good returns, were loosing money in all other businessess around the world and these big investors when they pulled out money from dubai to fund those other losses worldwide, started a chain reaction of smaller investors to sell off their properties in the wake of the economic crises world wide.

Now seriously tell me...people have been buying properties in Dubai for over 5 years now, so why should the king's men want to disturb their 1 trillion dollar investment in infrastructure and development and put the axe to their own feet.

All businessess have cycles and that is why not everyone can do business and be a part of that cycle. All other businessess have already started recovering world wide with stocks rising, commodities increasing. You have to stand in a recession and reap benefits in a boom but you have to wait for it.

so my advice is to enter any market when the chips are down and at the bottom to make the maximum out of it. The market is not gonna remain like this for morethan a year and recoveries are expected to come around October/November 2009.


best regards

An all the year round player
Khizer Ansari

Is Humpty Dumpty being pushed off
Posted by eftekhar ali, Dubai, UAE on Friday 15 May 2009 at 12:59 UAE time


In the 1970's the Swiss psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross suggested the rough sequence of emotional reactions (as indicated in this article) people typically experience when confronted with catastrophic news such as the news they are dying.
Trust, like Humpty Dumpty is a fragile affair. The question is not so much the acceptance of loosing ones trust in a market or Humpty Dumpty falling off a wall, but rather the acceptance of a breach of trust or Humpty Dumpty being deliberately pushed off. The point being that, if Humpty Dumpty is being pushed off, then could all the king's men be ever able to put him back together again. In the kid's rhyme, the answer was NO!
Let's just all hope that in real life the king's men act sensibly enough and prevent Humpty Dumpty from falling in the first place. As unfortunately, otherwise the king's men may end up having to accept the bitter consequences of the fact that as rhyme goes, no amount of their money, laws, adverts, media, politics, technology or call it what you like, could ever put Humpty Dumpty back together again.

Stop your crying and work with what we do have
Posted by Kelly, Dubai, UAE on Friday 15 May 2009 at 06:14 UAE time


I agree in part with Aadil. I too bought property but I bought within my budget and having started a business in a previous UK recession I made sure that when the downturn did come, I could still manage through it. I have never lived beyond my means.

The only way through this is to work with have we have, use this experience as your MBA, learn a valuable lesson and cut your cloth to suit your finances, if you have a business, make sure the foundations are strong even if you have to cut back and roll up your sleeves and just get on with it. Learn to get back to basics and get rid of the EGO. Dubai is still a great place to do buisness so stop whining and get proactive.

Test Of chracters i guess !
Posted by Shehryar Iqbal, Dubai, UAE on Friday 15 May 2009 at 05:43 UAE time


Dear all i read all the interesting articles. No doubt that things are not the same but i look at it as a challenge and a test of Chracter for all of us. Lets remain positive , i do understand it may be not that easy to be so but atleast lets try and look at what we have. Money lost can be earned again.Negativity will only give way to anxiety and tension and will stress us all out. I do understand that some of us lost their monies on Down payments and scruplous developers with false promises , but lets live again and be patient. This is not the end of the world . Keep smiling , life is too short :-) regards to all .

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