A class of its own

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You’d be wise not to dismiss this as the same old stodgy ‘Merc’, the new E-Class is moving the game on substantially.

The new E-Class handles. And I don’t just mean that it manages to negotiate a fast corner by clinging to the road stubbornly with most of its bulk hanging clumsily over its outside wheels. This new car will hunker down, get to grips with the surface, turn in well with direct, eager responses to a still slightly numb steering wheel, and then follow through with little hint of understeer, body roll, or even any suggestion of a snappy tail.

There’s lot of technical wizardry working a whole heap of magic in this new Mercedes, but having driven one of the trickiest roads available to us in the UAE, with the traction control off, the essentially sound chassis engineering is apparent. And sound engineering is what Mercs used to be all about. The new E sees a big return to form.

The petrol engines now get direct-injection systems which means more grunt and less drinking of pricey petrol. Well perhaps not so pricey here, but at least you can go further without the annoyance of filling up. These days 288bhp doesn’t sound like much, especially in something that weights over 1,700kg, and not surprisingly the performance doesn’t exactly feel electric — and you have to wait till the upper reaches of the rev range for the power. What you get instead is a calm persistent surge away from standstill, and a rock-steady build up of momentum that will see you just over the far side of 250kph. And a 6.3 second time to 100kph is usually the preserve of sports cars, so it could never be described as a slouch.

What it does best is kilometre-crunching: getting you across continents in swift but seemingly unhurried efficiency and comfort. The excellent aerodynamics — it may not look it, but at 0.25Cd, it’s one of the slipperiest in its class — makes for serene progress. The Direct Control dampers adapt automatically as the conditions dictate, so it glides on smooth fast roads, firms up at lower speeds, and remains remarkably composed when hurled through corners as the road dips and weaves and winds its way through the Hatta mountains.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not suddenly a dedicated sports saloon, the steering doesn’t quite come alive, and the paddle shifts for the seven-speed auto are more about holding onto gears than punchy downshifts and blipped throttles. In fact it’s best just to leave the gearbox in the sports setting and let it do its thing.

No, the new E isn’t suddenly clad in lycra, but it does wear its tweed sports jacket with pride. Mercedes has assessed the dynamic shortcomings of previous generations and addressed them — basically it remains a cruiser, but the burly Benz is happy to get all bare-knuckle if you need it to.

It does have a bluffer front end than Mercs of late, but this is truer to older Es, as is the flourish over the rear wheel arch. Actually, whilst it’s become more square-jawed, in the metal the proportions come across as well-judged.

In darker colours it’s a handsome, devilish brute, but it won’t win any beauty contests against the likes of Jaguar’s XF or even its own CLS cousin.

Inside the solidity and built-like-a-boulder perception you’d get with older Mercs is back. Plus it’s all very intuitive and logical, quite safe and sensible and utterly inoffensive.

The seats have those instantly inflating side bolsters that give you extra support when cornering, which is actually quite perversely pleasing, but they are extremely comfortable. And the great seating position in the front, doesn’t rob the rear of too much room either.

All in all, the cabin is a splendid place to travel in.

The levels of safety kit and driver’s aids available on this car are extraordinary. Along with all the usual airbags, ABS, traction control and ESP systems, plus crumple zones, it has: Blind Spot Assist to alert when there’s something in the blind spot; Lane Keep Assist which vibrates the steering if the car starts to leave its lane without indicating; Pre-Safe Brake and BAS Plus which can recognise a potential impact and primes the brakes or apply them if need be; Distronic Plus to keep a constant distance from the car in front; Attention Assist which can detect if the driver is becoming drowsy; plus adaptive brakes, adaptive brake lights, adaptive highbeam assist, brake assist, night view assist and even parking guidance.

It makes the BMW 5-Series look suddenly dated, the Lexus GS loses its sheen, the Audi A6 has to hand the king-of-quality mantle back, Volvo’s S80 can no longer rely on its safety and comfort trump cards, and the Cadillac CTS goes whimpering back across the Atlantic.

Only the Jaguar XF can respond with a huge dose of charm and personality — two things the new E simply lacks. But this E350 makes an excellent case for itself, and it’s now a car that even keen drivers can be proud of.

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