By Staff writer
Diplomats released a poem with tips for residents over the festive season
The British Embassy in the UAE has launched a public awareness campaign in the form of a poem, in a bid to help UK residents to better plan their holiday celebrations and travel arrangements during the festive period.
The poem, entitled ‘Twas the Night Before Flying’ is a reworking of the classic Clement Clarke Moore tale, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas' and chronicles fictional British expatriate Stu Nicholas and the challenges he encounters during the holiday season.
It was written by embassy staff and circulated on social media such as Facebook and Twitter. Below the complete version of the humorous poem:
‘Twas the Night Before Flying
‘Twas the night before flying, at Stu Nicholas’s house,
Off to the Emirates, along with his spouse.
The cases were full, but packed with ill care,
Banned medication inside - a customs nightmare!
He forgot to check FCO travel advice,
For that he might pay an almighty price.
With visa in passport and job contract signed,
A place of safe hiding, Stu looked to find.
He placed carefully his passport in a safe place
And carried around a copy that he brought in his case.
To the work Christmas party, off Stu went,
For an evening of dancing and merriment.
No holding of hands, or Christmas kisses,
Under the mistletoe, despite amorous wishes.
So time to go home after several spirits neat,
But it’s a crime for Stu to be drunk on the street.
He called for a taxi to get a ride back.
The driver was sullen, with no Christmas crack.
But Stu was polite and kept his calm,
And this gave the driver no cause for alarm.
So Stu makes it home to his new bed.
No prison this time, just a sore head!
He’s out Christmas shopping, enjoying the mall,
With Mrs Nicholas looking, all pretty and tall.
She likes skimpy clothes, and the weather is warm
Stu reminds her to cover up and respect the dress norm.
A few days later, Stu’s mother’s in town
Within hours she falls and cracks open her crown.
‘Don’t worry’ he says, ‘hospitals here are great’
But with no travel insurance they’ll cost a huge rate.
Mama Nicholas comes home with a bandaged head
She leaves with no photos, just an account in the red.
Stu feels rotten, but thinks ‘Christmas is near!’
So decides to meet friends for some festive cheer.
After having a dram and a jolly old time
He thinks “I’ll drive home, under UK laws I’m fine”
Yes you’ve guessed it, Stu ends up in jail
And spends the festive season out on bail.
‘Thank goodness I’m out, I’m not keen on jail food’
Stu says, as he leaves the prison in a foul mood.
And to show his disdain, raises a fist for a fight,
So finds himself back in the cells for the night!
So our message is simple, be aware of the law;
And you’re not all like Stu, of that we are sure.
From all at the Embassy, enjoy the season,
We love seeing you all, but not for the wrong reason!