By Salma Awwad
Adam Zargar shares with us empowerment coaching tips to the most commonly asked question.
At various stages in your life you may find yourself with a feeling that you want and need more from your life and that you are now in a place that you really don’t want to be in. You may not know why this feeling has developed inside of you, or even when you slipped into it. Instinctively though, you may know that you’re in a place that you don’t really want to be and can see no way out.
It could be that you are not developing in your career, or perhaps your relationship has become stagnant. It might even be that going out and doing the same things every day that used to be fun are now simply boring.
If you have had these feelings, taking little or no action apart from trying to suppress it, you will notice that these feeling soon come back again, but this time and every other time after, they become louder and louder much like an alarm clock pressed to snooze.
Adam Zargar, head of empowerment coaching at 2b Limitless, gives his five top strategies to help people take action and tackle their most common concern: “I am in a rut in my life and I don’t know how to get out of it…”
Reframe a rut through action: Write down in one sentence what you think about an area that you believe you are facing trouble with and then reframe it with a positive action.
Example of a rut: “My relationship is boring; we don’t do anything since the baby was born.”
Example of a positive action: “I will organise a nanny or a friend to babysit and book a restaurant we have never been to for this Friday.”
Recognise and then break the pattern that leads to the rut: Spend a week observing how you act in an aspect of your life that you’re feeling particularly stuck with. If it’s your job, what do you notice about your actions at work and how they are making you feel.
How might you change your actions to make things better for you? Don’t expect to repeat the same actions and get different results – do something different.
Example of a Rut: “I notice that the first thing I do is check my emails and then I feel swamped with having to reply to them all. I then feel like I do not have enough time to complete any job I know I need to do. It just keeps piling up and I feel inadequate because of it!”
Example of a positive action: “I must set aside the first 90 minutes of my work day to complete the most important job I have on my desk. I must also tell my clients that I will only check emails and respond twice a day and if they need me urgently to call. I must complete priority jobs with focus rather than multi-task as it will get done faster!”
Find a role model: Although everyone has their own story and map of the world one of the most effective ways to make quick and powerful changes is to see out another person or a group that seems to have a great life in the area that you’re presently in a rut with. Their solutions might not necessarily work for you, but they may give you ideas about what you need to start doing more of.
Be curious and add new and exciting moments to your life: Routines and structure is a great thing, but sometimes you need add in some new and exciting hobbies, trips or challenges that will create excitement and the feeling of growth.
Curiosity is something often left behind in our childhood. Remember the excitement when you first played football or saw the Taj Mahal for the first time? You will not get that feeling again if you don’t seek out new opportunities.
The level of thinking that got you to where you used to be happy is not going to get you to where you are going. We must always raise our standards.
The above strategies are just some of the ways to start getting out of a rut. Pick a couple and be consistent in trying to implement them to inject excitement back into your life.