Yes, it’s true. I cry at my desk. No, not at home (okay, yes, I also cry at my desk when working from home…often), but at work. In an office. In view of almost 40 people.
If you’ve never cried at your desk, you might think this is madness, possibly the worst thing you could do in the workplace, but in all honesty, it’s created more positives than negatives.
I don’t cry every day. That would be a problem, right? I run a high-pressure, fast turnaround agency. I have responsibilities that weigh heavy on my shoulders.
Every decision I make directly impacts my staff, my clients and all of our livelihoods. So, when we lose a major client or I have to fire somebody, I cannot – and will not – behave like a robot. If I need to cry, I will cry.
Crying might seem acceptable for work-related matters. The market is tough and we are in a very unsettled Covid/Post-Covid world as we know. But what about crying at work when it comes to personal problems?
What happens if you’re in the office and you receive bad news? In recent years, I have gone through multiple rounds of IVF, all unsuccessful and it’s been unbelievably difficult at times to keep my head held high.
At first, I tried to hide certain things from my staff, worried they would feel the burden, but by making a bold choice to be transparent and share my journey and all the highs and lows, I firmly believe it’s only made the team stronger.
We are all human. Sure, on paper I am the CEO of a multi-award-winning PR agency, but I am still a person with hopes, dreams, fears and feelings.
I love mentoring young women at the start of their careers and never want them to feel afraid of going into work and pushing themselves to reach their goals.
And why? Because once, I was young and ambitious, but scared of those in power. I’d work with stony-faced leaders. They seemed so together. So professional. Yet, they were completely unapproachable.
When it came to business, I had to learn the hard way and go it alone. If a staff member sees me cry and she sees my vulnerable side, she may find she relates.
And therefore, she is able to approach me about her own issues, so it creates a whole new safe space I personally strive to provide for all who work for me.
Crying is a natural human emotion. We’re no longer living in a world that shames us for talking about our feelings, and I like to believe that we’re progressing towards a world that actually praises us for speaking out.
Or at least breathes a sigh of relief. Just as releasing our emotions is helping people’s mental health within their personal relationships and daily lives, it’s important to allow this to filter into the workplace too.
We spend a huge majority of our time in work, don’t we? And often, by the time we get home, have dinner, do some household chores, it leaves us with a small window to spend with friends and family. Why should they get the brunt of our work woes? And especially when time is so precious?
Although we’re aware of how psychologically damaging it is to hold our emotions inside, watertight, it’s still our first instinct to release them behind closed doors.
My husband has seen me crying about work too often, when I should be smiling about what we have planned for the weekend, and this can’t be right. It isn’t right.
In a post-pandemic world and ever-struggling market, calls for more empathy in the workplace and compassionate leadership should be at the forefront of business. We should be telling our employees that it’s okay to cry.
Because it is. It’s okay! And preferable to the opposite and holding it all in, which will inevitably have worse long-term repercussions.
Perhaps I feel somewhat comfortable crying at my desk because my office is a team of 38 women. There’s a strong sense of solidarity and relatability, and believe me, I am so grateful for this wonderful vibe.
Would I hold back if we were surrounded by male company? Maybe I would! I feel for men struggling in the workplace, under pressure to stick to the old-fashioned rules of burying their emotions deep. Maybe – just, maybe – this is one area of work where women have it easier than men?
Natasha Hatherall-Shawe, founder and CEO of TishTash Marketing and PR@TishTashTalks
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