Know your why to live the life you truly desire: How Nancy Ho’s North Star framework aligns business and life success

Central to finding true fulfilment, according to Nancy, is maintaining a balance between all aspects of life, with personal growth, relationships, health, spiritual wellness, and career aligning. “We all want to live longer, healthier, and happier lives. It seems simple. But if that was the case, happiness would be a given,” she muses. “Instead of being a given, it’s a challenge, and it’s crucial to ask why.”

These obstacles are especially prominent among HPPs whose peaks of success often evoke admiration, sometimes even envy. For them, career burnout is more common than among regular employees, carrying immense consequences that negatively impact mental and physical health, interpersonal connections, and, consequently, organisational productivity. The epidemic of unfulfillment is rising—with 77 per cent of employees indicating mental health struggles in 2024, compared to 44 per cent just a year before—and it can’t be ignored.

The importance of addressing these challenges promptly is crucial, and neglecting any aspect of life can, as Nancy says, lead to a discrepancy between a life and a health span. “Even if you live a long life, the quality will be diminished if you grapple with health conditions. During my experience, I’ve worked with thousands of HPPs who seemingly have got it all, and I’ve seen the grip insomnia, panic attacks, hypertension, and other stress-related disorders can have,” she shares. “Suddenly, you realise that health and happiness are not a given.”

Nancy calls this disparity the ‘Paradox of Success,’ referring to individuals whose lives are polished and perfect on the surface, yet with darkness and emptiness lingering beneath. At the heart of this paradox is focus—or rather its lack or its misalignment. When focusing on external success, individuals tend to sacrifice other components of life, from relationships to health to familial bonds. “It’s all about climbing the ladder, winning the next deal, and living that American Dream,” Nancy adds.

While identifying that one’s focus has been askew for far too long is the first step, it marks only the beginning of the journey to happiness and healing. What follows is a plethora of other challenges, the need to compromise, and many risks that must be taken.

To illustrate, Nancy alludes to a story of a client, a stay-at-home mom married to an HPP: “Her husband’s career is thriving. It’s one promotion after another, long holidays a few times a year, and beautiful residences all over the world. It seems like she has everything anyone could ever dream of. But even during those luxurious holidays, she sees her husband on his phone, trying to close deals or attending meetings. It has taken a toll on their relationship. But the problem is that she wants it all—a husband who helps with the kids, an attentive partner dedicated to his family, and a successful professional who provides. Compromises are inevitable.”

On the other hand, another client, an aspiring entrepreneur with a freshly established startup, has just embarked on her motherhood journey. With a baby and a high-performing husband, she is trying to navigate business, marriage, and parenthood, understandably feeling overwhelmed. “A blind drive for wealth has a price tag, and it’s an expensive one to pay,” Nancy stresses. “It seems impossible, but there are ways to find true happiness, and it all starts with mindfulness.”

Through her tailored solutions and an approach fusing business-centric acumen with compassion, Nancy guides clients toward true fulfilment—toward their North Star Vision. Her framework revolves around identifying individuals’ real needs, ones that aren’t distorted by sheer wealth and the expectations of others. At the centre of Nancy’s North Star is her career, surrounded by five arms: family and friends; fitness and health; finances and wealth; faith and spirituality; and freedom, impact and legacy.

“This process requires full honesty with yourself. You have to be clear and transparent about what you want at your centre and determine if the choices you make support your real goal. For instance, with my experience with corporate HPPs and entrepreneurs, I have seen how many will take on roles that require a lot of travel, yet desire to also be at home raising their children. Or, they will take on high-intensity roles that ultimately impact their health and well-being. These choices are not in alignment with their North Star Vision. When one or more of these arms are in conflict, it comes at the price of true fulfilment,” warns Nancy.

Recognising that goals, aspirations, and needs evolve, Nancy’s framework is a three-year-long plan. As she says, individuals’ wants and needs will be different at the different developmental stages of their life, and it’s crucial to adapt. “Reflecting on your why every three years makes sure that you are staying connected to what truly matters,” explains Nancy. “You need to maintain the clarity of your North Star Vision in order to make sure it supports all five arms.”

Though determining one’s real desires can be challenging, discovering the reason—the why that drives them—is essential. “In everything you do, you should ask yourself why,” she reflects. “You don’t start with how. You start with why. When you know your why, the how will be your guiding star. The key to happiness is simple but never easy. Reflect profoundly, discover what you truly want, and don’t let conflicts cloud your North Star Vision.”

*This article is for informational purposes only and does not substitute for professional medical advice. If you are seeking medical advice, diagnosis or treatment, please consult a medical professional or healthcare provider.